forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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