You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
