well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
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