Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
