I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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