Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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