what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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