I puked a lego.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It all started with a game of naked twister.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize