glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize