She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
