Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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