ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
