literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
