i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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