just come out here and I will go home with you...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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