She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
