3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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