i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
