genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
