just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
