There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
