i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
