I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
