i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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