I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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