I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
