did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
