Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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