I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
