after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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