Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
