he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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