Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
