Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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