R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he wants to bone in the snuggie
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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