he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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