Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize