I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
