oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
