I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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