I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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