You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
