I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ladies don't puke and tell
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
