It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
