Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
