I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
