went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize