Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
