Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
