I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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