do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
