Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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