True but thats because hes a fetus.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
why do cheetos always look like penises
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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