We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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