Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
