I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
