Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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