Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
