I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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