Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
