dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
