I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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