so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
