OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
